Lessie
by Mysti SandStreak
Summary: A person who has a unique relationship with Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain. And, of course, their relationship gets weirder and weider as time goes on...
1. Chapter 1 In Prison

I can tell the future! I am absolutely serious. I CAN TELL THE FUTURE!

You don't believe me? No one ever does. I have no idea why! Only two people in my whole life have ever believed me! And they weren't even part of my family. That's extremely depressing considering how I'm now in prison and as far as I know, those two people are dead.

It's not as if I'm bad at telling the future. I just don't always get it completely right. Like when this weirdo guy asked me whether he would become "killer supreme" I think he said. Of course when I looked into the future, I saw that he had conquered the world. Since I have an obligation to my customers, I had to tell him the truth. Then he went off saying that his name was Vaurien Scapegrace. I think he died the day after I told. Atleast it looked like he was dead when I left him.

Anyway, that prediction didn't entirely come true. Like so many others...oops. I was back in my memories again. Sorry. Now..back to business. These two people weren't even magical in any way as far as I know. Their names were..drum roll please...Mr and Mrs Edgley!

Their first names seem to have escaped my mind at the moment sadly. But I do remember seeing their daughter on a number of occasions. I remember her name oh-so-well...Stephenie Edgley. Or as she prefers to be called in the magical world, Valkyrie Cain.

It is funny how I can be best friends with the parents, but try to kill their daughter on a number of occasions. I really do HATE Cain! I didn't really have a fight with Pleasant before she came, but when she got there, he hated me! ME? I didn't understand it at all! I was never fighting with him and then...POOF...he's trying to kill me with a vengeance. THOSE STUPID GOODY MAGIC ELEMENTAL PEOPLE !

So the Edgley parents seriously loved me, considering how I am only 8 years old, and they always wanted me around predicting their future, or just around for anything. Cain obviously hated me from the beginning. She even hated me before she knew about magic. It's all because she was jealous about how much her parents loved me and not her. So then when she suddenly had Pleasant on her side, she was able to get revenge on me for being lovable.

I was always so kind to her, but of course like any unloved and loser daughters', she backstabbed me. The worst thing would obviously be to kill me, so I'm thankful she didn't do that. But she did the second worst thing..SHE PUT ME IN A MAGICAL GAOL! She is such a backstabber, I will now NEED my revenge and actually kill her this time.

So this is where I've been for a month, and they want to keep me here for a whole year! I hate this place and now you will see this place through my eyes without telling you.

"Hey Jack," I say to Springheeled Jack as I pass him.

"Hey Monster," that's his nickname for me..isn't it so cute.

"AHHHH!" I hear that all around and see Cain and Pleasant walking towards me.

"I'M GONNA RIP YOUR THROAT OUT YOU BIG BACKSTABBER!" I yell at Cain.

"No need to get all agro towards us Lessie," Pleasant says in that all-so-knowing-annoying voice of his.

Then they both drag me out to their ugly Bentley! Of course I fight, and I struggle against their hold. And of course that skeleton's grip is far too tight for me and go limp, hoping to catch off-guard. It doesn't work and they throw me into the car. I think to quickly run, but then I pass out from sort of gas. Goodnight minddd...

Vicky's Time

Okay. So this is my time to random talk. Oh yeh and I think I stole this off another fan fic writer. Sorry!

Anyway. Please read this and give me some feedback so I can improve this story, except please don't be rude. And remember, no matter what you comment, I'll probably think you're an amazing writer because you actually comment and give constructive criticism, so you must know your stuff. Also please tell me whether you think this is too long, so I can shorten my next chapters. And stay tuned for the next part of it. Sorry for the cliffhanger, I just thought it would probably be too long if I wrote anymore.

So please comment and everything.

Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2 Kidnapped

**Skulduggery Pleasant Fan Fic**

Chapter 2

Ok. I'm conscious again, and everything's so blurry..seeing, hearing, and feeling. That might be because I'm completely numb. I can't feel any part of my body, even my head. This feels really weird because it's as though I have no head, so now I'm wondering how I can even be thinking since I don't have a head. And also how can I be seeing, hearing and sneezing? Oh well.. having no head could be cool.

Oh no, I can hear someone coming towards..wherever I am. Wow. I just realised how pathetic a situation I'm in right now. Being trapped somewhere, but not actually knowing where. They're getting so much closer..actually, I've decided that I can't wait until they get here. It's probably going to be that Cain girl and I can't WAIT to bash that girl up for everything she's done to me. Hee hee...atleast I'm not the only one to want to bash her up. My other friends want to bash her up..such as her parents(YES!they're on my side) , her reflection , all her enemies and some of her 'friends'. I can't be bothered explaining why her reflection and 'friends' hate her, but I think the others are obvious.

Oops! Got lost in my awesome thoughts again. So back to the present...

The person is nearly here so I start making some cute little coughs to make them come here. Wait..I smell...hot chips? Mmm. They smell delicious! The person's here and I can see a little bit of light. AHHH!TOO BRIGHTT!Okay it's good again but it's not Pleasant or Cain..it's just some random.

"Hello," *Blinks adorably*,"I need some help please".

Oh my god, this person is so manipulatable.

"Thank you very much. I really appreciate it sir, and might I say you look very good today," I say, adding that last bit even though he looks like a slob. EWWW! HIS HANDS LOOK ICKY! Hmm..he hasn't said anything yet. Maybe he's still in shock about how cute I am..or maybe he's planning to kidnap me. Either way it doesn't bother me. I can just leave him or I can fight him and win.

Hang on..he has a mask on. Uh-oh. He's taking his mask off to reveal...my best friend, who is 17. He is my best friend. His hair is so..perfect. It's the beautiful gold-brown, and curly just enough to make him cute. All his features...he is so beautiful with his pale skin and blue-gold-green eyes, and his perfectly sculptured body. I love him so much I might just ask for...

"Can I have a piggy back ride?" I have to ask. I must have one. I love them. Thank him, he always says yes.

"Wait scratch that...can you carry me like you always do?" I grin because I love him.

"Of course Less Less..my little angel," he laughs his awesome laugh as he says it. Oh did I mention I consider him my older brother, and he considers me his little sister because we are both only childs.

He knows about my magic life because he is the same as me..except nice. But we still love each other, and since Pleasant and Cain are trying to kill me, he'll try to kill them...YAY! By the way..his name is...

"Less Less! Come on, out of there," I forgot I was in my thoughts again. Oppsies.

"Thank you. By why did you wear a fat slob costume with icky hands?" I say as his strong hands lift me out of...the boot of the Bentley..and he cradles me in his arms as he always has.

"I was curious as to what it would be like to play a flat slob who doesn't..*confuzzled look on his cute face*..have you gotten lighter Less Less?" He interrupted himself? That's weird for him, so he must be really concerned.

"Umm..no? I don't think so. So back to you..You're playing the part of a fat slob who doesn't..*raises eyebrows as I smell*..shower?"Euck! He smells foul..like baby boys nappies.

"Maybe. *pulls odd face*I was sorta hoping you could help me with getting a shower. Mine's broken, so that's why I decided to add not showering to my new character. So where do you wanna go now?" HE starts walking, and it feels because while he's walking with me in his arms, it feels like I'm lying in soft clouds. He is so soft.

"Let's go to the Edgley's!I wanna see my fwends!"I say happily.

Ahh damn..Pleasant and Cain are back.

VICKY'S TIME!

So it took me ages to write this because I've been so busy and I am really sorry!

But now I've finished and I promise I will start the next chapter right now


	3. Chapter 3 Acting Time

**Lessie Chapter 3**

"Now's your time to shine!" I whispered into Rod's ear.

Oh and by the way..my friend's name is Rod. I sorta forgot to tell you before and that's...

"Helloooo. Wha-ssss yourrrrr nammeeee?" Rod slurred as if drunk. Also when he said name it kinda sounded like 'blameee'. Wow! He's really good at acting.

He huddled me up against his chest so Pleasant and Cain would think I'm actually a baby. OUCH! He's squishing me! OMG STOP!

"That looks like a lovely child your squishing" Pleasant said kindly to Rod.

Cain's looking angrily at the Bentley while Pleasant is talking. She's seen the boot without me in it.

"We have to get out of here NOW!" I whisper as quiet as I can to Rod, but obviously not quiet enough.

Pleasant doesn't hear me but Cain does, and she starts walking towards us. I get ready to sprint out of here as she gets closer, and is about to uncover me.

"Hi all! My name is Georgie!" a random person says as she comes towards us.

She has blue-green eyes, with brown around the pupil. She has her hair up in a bun and looks normal..as in not magical at all. She's wearing a strapless lacy dress, with black at the top and white down the bottom, and she's carrying black high heels. She looks like she's about to go to a really posh party.

Cain backs away from Rod and I as the girl called Georgie comes towards us. Pleasant looks angry and so does Cain, but they smile kindly when Georgie turns around to look at them. Georgie looks slightly drunk and high as she gets to us.

"Aayyyy! Youuuuu looksssss fuuuun! Letssss gooooo partayyyy!" Rod practically yells in Georgie's face.

Rod and Georgie run away, with Rod carrying me and then he puts me down. Then Rod and Georgie make out when they've stopped! Georgie gets really into it, but as soon as the Bentley has passed us, Rod pulls away and grabs me.

Georgie runs after Rod and I as Rod runs and carries me.

As he strips off the costume and becomes his normal self, he stops and says to Georgie,"Okay. You can come with us and we'll teach you magic...wait...don't I know you?"

Rod is squinting at Georgie now like you would when you look at the sun..for normal people. OMG PLEASE NO! SHE'S STRIPPING RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! Rod is staring at her dumb-founded..like my baby brother looked like when he had just pooped he nappy...before he died. Anyway..on a happier note...Georgie isn't actually stripping, just getting out of her costume and into her normal clothes which were underneath. THANK GOODNESS!

"Ohh...I remember you. You're from Rod's acting class aren't you?" I say, finally recognising her.

Rod still looks confused so I add a hint.

"It's Georgie..you know. The person who is the top of your class and the person who you have a sli..." He rushes over to cover my mouth with his icky hands, to stop me from saying the last words.

The fact that he has had a HUGE crush on her since before I knew him, is something that he doesn't want anyone, especially Georgie, to know. I know who she is and can recognise her because I've been to Rod's acting lessons for as long as I can remember, and she's been the best actor I've ever seen every time.

I smirk as he starts blushing hugely and...his whole face goes red! I think Georgie can see the blushing because she looks curiously at me and him.

She suddenly turns and looks directly at me as she says, " And I remember you my little actress."

Now she's smiling kindly at me because she actually remembers who I am, oh did I mention I also did some acting and apparently I was pretty good for my age, but not who Rod is. Awkward.

As Rod and Georgie start to say something at the same time, an evil girl called Tayla walks up to us and starts punching Georgie in many places, while looking lovingly at Rod. It's really weird, but when I try to help Georgie, Tayla punches me back then says something to Rod.

"Hello Rod! I saw her coming onto you before so I thought I'd save you from this slut. By the way.. I'm your future-to-be-wife Roddy."

After all this Rod is still looking dumb-founded and blushing hugely when Pleasant and Cain find us, and punch so much that I blackout...AGAIN!

I seriously hate this feeling now.."Goodnight Rod and Georrgiee." I say as I throw a fireball at Cain (it catches alight..YES!) and now fall asleep.

**Vicky's Time**

Ok. I sooo didn't plan on ending it like that..again. Sorry

Anyway..two of these characters are based on people that I know and they are my friends..so I thought it would be fun to change their life a bit and make them slightly different to how they really are. They will definitely turn out really weird tough.

This is gonna be a fun story to write XD

Anyway (huh..I gotta stop anyway) I hope you liked this chapter and I would still like suggestions to make it better.

Thanks :D


	4. Chapter 4 Kidnappedagain

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skulduggery Pleasant... but I wish I did.**

**Lessie Chapter 4**

"Urghh" Wow my head kills!

"Hello? Is anyone there? Mr and Mrs Edgley? Rod? Jack?" I go through the names in my list that I remember last.

Why can't I see anything! I think I've gone blind! No, wait, I haven't happily. I can just see a faint, but bright light. Oh no! Don't go towards the light Lessie! Don't! But it's sooo pretty. I have to..touch it.

"Ouch! That hurt!" I say when I touch it.

I kick out blindly, cause I still feel blind, to try and get rid of the pretty light. I haven't kicked anything yet, but my sight is now, slowly, starting to return and my head has stopped throbbing. Hang on..what is that shade to my left? I kick out my legs towards my left and finally hit something!

"YOU LITTLE BRAT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY SHED?"

I look, dazed, towards the place where the voice comes from, when I get a slap in the face! I finally get my sight back, because of the slap, and I see a REALLY ugly and scratched face right in front of my face.

"It's Lessie, Tanith. This is the person Skulduggery and Valkyrie are after. " I see and hear the voice from the person in front of me ,and I suddenly realise what happened to me.

Pleasant and Cain must have gone and locked me in a random shed, tying me up so they could come back for me later, but not realising that Ghastly Bespoke and Tanith Low own this shed. Geeze... These guys really need to talk to each other. They are so stupid.

"Ghastly, do you think Skulduggery and Val with be angry if we don't give Lessie to them?" I hear Low say.

Before I can hear Bespoke's reply, I hear Rod running towards us with Georgie by his side both screaming wildly. Then they come into my sight and I see they're both using elemental magic. They finally get to us and Rod and Georgie actually knock Low and Bespoke down so that they don't get back up.

"Who are you, and why haven't I heard of you yet?" Bespoke asks Rod and Georgie weakly as Low passes out.

"My name in Nate and this is Georgie" Rod replies before Bespoke passes out.

"So you chose a magical name? Nate is a good name for you. It just sounds...right" I comment as Georgie and Rod finishes untying me.

"Yeh. I hated the name Rod because it sounded like a gay name, so I've changed it permanently in the magical world and out." Rod..I mean Nate..replied.

"Georgie, shouldn't you change your name aswell?" I ask Georgie as she ties Bespoke and Low to pole.

"Okay...I'll change it to Blair, but I wanna keep my normal name as much as possible please. And only magical people that I hate can call me Blair" Georgie replies smugly.

As Georgie and Nate talk to each other, I take in how they look. Georgie has changed from her normal clothes, and into bright pink. She is seriously wearing everything. Her clothes are basically the same as Cain's (tank top, three quarter jacket, long pants and boots), but all in bright pink. It's as though she's Cain identical twin, except in pink! Nate is wearing exactly what Pleasant always wears(striped suit), even with the wig, hat and scarf! It's awesome because it's making of Pleasant and Cain and everything they look like.

"Hey Lessie...you didn't think just rope would hold us and keep us from calling Skulduggery and Val did you?"

I turn slowly around, suddenly aware that I can't hear Nate or Georgie talking. I look towards where Low and Bespoke were, and see Nate and Georgie tied there instead. So I turn towards where Nate and Georgie were, and find Bespoke and Low standing there, smirking at me.

"Wow. Your friends are really smart. You gonna be as smart as them?"

"Go to hell"

I push air towards them so hard they get knocked back against the wall. I turn and go to untie Nate and Georgie, when I instead go flying towards them as Bespoke and Low push the air at me. I hit the pole..hard, and see that Nate and Georgie have already untied themselves and are halfway out of the shed.

I shoot a fireball at Low and Bespoke as they sneak up behind Nate, and it hits Bespoke. Damn..he's not catching on fire because of the stupid clothes he's wearing, so they both turn on me and come towards me slowly, smirking at me again.

"Looks like your friends have deserted you. Look who's in trouble now" Low says rudely as Nate and Georgie run away from the shed and into the distance.

I bring out a long sword, specially made for me, and fight Low and Bespoke...by myself.

I swerve to the left as Low thrusts her side towards my stomach. It goes right through where my stomach was and goes further. Her arm is right in front of me so I swipe the side of her arm, and as she takes her arm back it gets longer. Bespoke throws a punch at my back, I duck underneath him and kick him up and back. I jump up and lunge at Low impulsively, and she is expecting it so she swipes her sword across my chest. Bespoke is back, and is about the push the air at me, when guess who turns up.

"Leave her to me. I wanna finish her off."

I turn quickly and smoothly to find Cain standing at the door of the shed, with Pleasant in the car behind her, growling at me. Low passes her the sword she was using, but luckily Cain is really bad with a sword. In fact, she can hardly even use magic. She's so pathetic!

Cain lunges at me with the sword in hand and tries to plunge it into my chest. But she has no experience, so I parry her easily. She goes for the easy prey, but I dodge out of the way, cutting her leg. She's not light on her feet and she doesn't know how to defend herself, so I thrust, lunge and swipe her until she's on her knees.

When I think she's finally down she jumps up, painfully, and grabs her and my sword. Then she motions to use her fists. I only then notice Pleasant standing on the sideline, watching with concern at me. I think about that later.

She goes to punch me in the head, but forgets I'm only 8, misjudges my height, and misses by a mile. I lay a punch in her gut, making her double over in pain, then knee her stomach again. She's bent all the way over now, so ram my elbow into the back of her head. She falls down, face forward, onto the dusty floor, then I go to pick up my sword. It's not there, but when I look around I see that Pleasant is holding it.

He comes walks over to me, smoothly, and gives me my sword and Low's sword. Then walks back to his Bentley smugly. Low and Bespoke both looks at him, shocked, but then realise that Cain is lying on the floor dying. They rush to Cain and take her to the Bentley. As I watch, Pleasant looks reluctant to let Cain in his car. I'm not sure whether it's because he might not like her, or because he doesn't want his car messy.

He smiles at me, I think, then gets into his Bentley and drives away with Bespoke, Low and sadly Cain in it. When I can't see the Bentley anymore, guess who decides to turn up, Nate and Georgie. But I'm still thinking about Pleasant and how he seems to like me. Maybe I've gained an important ally?

But of course, I can never think for long because guess who is now running towards us, again. Tayla is back with a huge gun and daggers, and firing both at Georgie and I. Then she runs up to Nate and makes out with him in front of me!

"I don't think that's what Monster wants to see," says a nicely familiar voice behind me.

"I'm back!" Jack says as he runs up to me and gives me a bear hug.

Huh..my life is going good for once.

Vicky's Time

That was really, really long. So anyway..hope you liked it..comment on it... nice criticism.

Thank you and good night (hee hee..it's fun to quote!)


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